The $50 cigarette

Not many people know this but I have smoked on and off since I was 16. The first cigarettes I ever smoked were Winston’s and that’s because Kenny Friedman left a pack at my house along with his bong at the time. Needless to say he got his bong back.

I smoked this entire pack on a pleasant summer morning (yes I said morning) when my buddy Chris showed up at 9am and wanted to hang out. I replied,”I’ve got a ton of warm Molson Ice hanging out in a cooler in the back from a cookout my family had this past weekend”.

“Alrighty then my good chap!” he replied and we proceeded to the pool (again at 9am), drank piss warm Molson Ice and smoked Winston’s. It was glorious.

This is probably one of my favorite memories from being young. No responsibility and not giving a flying fuck on a summer morning. The good thing is that I have the ability to stop whenever I want. I have gone away to a few bachelor parties where a pack has been purchased, I killed it by Sunday and didn’t even have another  for months.

All that being said, I picked the habit back up this year due to needing comfort from a lack of, well, being married. It became my goto when I’d stand outside in the snow at night and thought about everything. Then the snow melted and I would stand outside in 60 degree weather thinking about life. Then 90 degrees. You get where I am going with this.

This past year I have started and stopped smoking for decent stints of time but for some reason I have been on the smoking band wagon way more than I should be since the 2014 football season came around. This is where I get to my point.

I’ve read/listened to a lot of motivational shit. A LOT. The one thing that stands out is when you plan on doing something you better take drastic measures to achieve your goal. That’s why I am presenting this challenge to myself. Here goes:

If anyone spots me smoking anywhere I will paypal you $50. Yup. 50 bones. Easy enough.

DISCLAIMER: This does not include cigars since I don’t inhale those. YES that sounds stupid but I am making up the rules and RARELY smoke cigars.

I feel this will keep me in line to go after my health goals. One of which is to run the Super Hero Half again this May and shave 30 minutes off my time from last year. I need to come up with the penalty if I don’t accomplish that but I’ll figure that out later.

So there you have it. $50 to you through paypal if you see me smoking. I don’t really want to place a time on this but let’s say anytime between now and May. After that I will assess the situation.


  • Jessie S.

    Good for you. Smoking as a regular habit= sure fire way to kill yo self.